I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
