sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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