you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
