don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
This is the high leading the old right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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