i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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