So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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