So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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