so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
