Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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