Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The Olympian is in my bed
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
