got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
