if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
lets start a swedish sibling band together
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
