Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
