If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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