There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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