it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
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