Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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