I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
