What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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