Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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