So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
