It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.