Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..