Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(504): View more from Louisiana

if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)

(512): View more from Texas

Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(504): if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever) (512): Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them. http://tfl.nu/9n19

Replies (3) Good night (970) Bad night (397)
Favorite
(413): View more from Massachusetts

At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(413): At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks http://tfl.nu/fbkp

Replies (15) Good night (764) Bad night (2641) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(973): View more from New Jersey

They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(973): They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it. http://tfl.nu/8sm7

Replies (75) Good night (21666) Bad night (2514) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(310): View more from California

so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?

(818): View more from California

by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(310): so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA? (818): by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ http://tfl.nu/5i2r

Replies (43) Good night (13909) Bad night (991)
Favorite
(757): View more from Virginia

I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(757): I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping. http://tfl.nu/aea5

Replies (30) Good night (3551) Bad night (1261) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(201): View more from New Jersey

The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(201): The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint http://tfl.nu/xmhe

Replies (15) Good night (4477) Bad night (810) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(267): Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too." http://tfl.nu/ac9x

Replies (4) Good night (2551) Bad night (921) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(440): View more from Ohio

Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(440): Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall http://tfl.nu/to1l

Replies (4) Good night (1646) Bad night (1305) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(309): View more from Illinois

This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(309): This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend. http://tfl.nu/skkm

Replies (9) Good night (1681) Bad night (460) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(484): Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader http://tfl.nu/1luq

Replies (6) Good night (922) Bad night (451) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(347): View more from New York

i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(347): i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men. http://tfl.nu/ujar

Replies (3) Good night (1061) Bad night (312) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(919): View more from North Carolina

I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(919): I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career. http://tfl.nu/kw3u

Replies (14) Good night (1806) Bad night (368) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(+61): View more from Australia

Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+61): Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me. http://tfl.nu/7l1e

Replies (2) Good night (622) Bad night (243) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(570): i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0. http://tfl.nu/r5hx

Replies (2) Good night (262) Bad night (540) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(601): View more from Mississippi

He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(601): He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time. http://tfl.nu/0o2i

Replies (4) Good night (304) Bad night (486) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: