Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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