i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
