Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
