He had one of those small greek statue penises
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
