She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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