halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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