my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
