I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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