Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
