you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
