watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
