I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize