does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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