You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
