I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize