woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
