If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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