69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
