She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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