There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
