sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
