return my video game
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
