we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
