so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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