So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
dude. I can hear the air.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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