Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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