So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Randomize
