Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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