I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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