not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
