We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
