You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
