I cockslap morals
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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