That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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