Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
