I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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