marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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