i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
